Writer/Director Dennis Logan has independently produced a number of short films since Macbeth 3000, many of which have received awards and acclaim from all sorts of strange and wonderful people. The "Cinema Spatula Collection" exists because apparently the world wasn't bizarre enough before and needed a jolt of the absurd to rock the boat.

FRENCH ONION

Winner of Grand Prize, Best Interpretation of Comedy Script, and Most Original in the Indietalk Script to Screen Challenge.

 

    Synopsis

When Heppech can't get over his ex, he seeks advice from the people in his life; but when all he gets is bad advice, confusing metaphors, and mysterious messages on his answering machine, it's up to him to overcome his fears before he can find true love... or before true love finds him...

 

    Production Synopsis

By: Denis Logan

French Onion was the largest scale for a short I've ever directed, Clocking in at just over 16mins, and taking 3 full days to shoot, it was certainly the most ambition project since Macbeth 3000! But that's not how it started. It started when a British writing counterpart of mine, Nique asked me if I'd like to collaborate with him on a screenplay submission. I had already written 3 for the contest, but have been wanting to do something with Nique for some time, so agreed. He came up with the initial idea, and we spent lots of time batting it back and forth, until we knew we had a script of tempered material. Lo and behold, the script was one of three winners in the first round, and was green-lit for production. At that point, multiple crews could choose from the 3 scripts to shoot.

I immediately chose the script Nique and I wrote, and began gathering cast and crew. Adding fresh faces to the cast and crew, combined with old trustworthy friends made a great mix. Shooting was divided into three days. Day one, we shot at Bill's house for all of Benedict and Elwood's scenes. We had the most cast and crew that day, and worked straight through the day until the late evening. After finishing, the crew had minor celebrations with burgers and substances.

 

The next day, Kirill came over to my place, and we shot Heppech's solo stuff, with Amanda doing audio and reading lines for Rebecca so I could get the timing. It was a quick set of takes, and we wrapped quickly. During the week, I went over to Rebecca's house with the camera and mic and recorded her scenes and voice-overs. Upon returning, and editing what I had, I realized I wanted more dialogue for Rebecca, and did some ADR, putting my cell phone on speaker-mode and pointing the mic at it, having her read some new lines. It worked pretty well, so I did the same thing for Jenn and Rob's parts.

The last day of shooting was set in Grange Park, downtown in the heart of the city. The crew was Kirill, Amanda and myself. We shot the stuff with Amanda first and she went home, while Kirill and I continued filming Heppech's running scenes. I took a vow to quit smoking after running out of breath in two minutes, but we got it done in the end. We returned to the park a few days later, because Kirill knew someone who lived in a building overlooking the park. We got some shots from 15 stories up, but they will appear in the "Scope Version" of the film at a later date

With the movie in the can, I spent many long nights perfecting the edit to the best of my ability. Kevin was able to work with the (bad) audio we had recorded, and mix it beyond my hopes had ever reached.  Kirill was scoring it at the time, but when it became a race to the deadline and creative differences occured, I went with a back-up plan, and used some of the loops from The Perfect Sandwich to construct a musical overlay. Kirill's score will appear on his own version of the film, which he'll release at his own pace.

But for another short film on the belt, French Onion was an incredibly fun and challenging project to complete. When it won in almost every category, I was floored. I had grown to love and then hate it through editing, but having that outside confirmation means a hell of a lot to me. It still would have been worth it, even if it didn't win... but fuck I love that icing on the cake. And so the story of French Onion comes to a close. Check it out above and let me know what you think!

 

    Cast
  • Heppech... Denis Logan 
  • Benedict... Bill Stepec
  • Elwood... Jordan Akerman
  • Rotunda... Amanda Duncan
  • Help Line Girl... Rebecca Riddell
  • Scared Girl... Jenn Vanassche
  • Heppech's Dad... Rob Morphy
  •  
    Crew
  • Produced and Directed by... Denis Logan
  •  
  • Written by Nicholas Simon Hugh James Mohammed Woodhouse and Denis Steven Emmerson Logan
  •  
  • Director of Photography... Kirill Kripak
  •  
  • 2nd Camera: Tom Nagy
  • Editor: Denis Logan
  • On set Audio: Uh.. Everybody!
  • Post Sound Mix: Kevin Dunlop
  • Foley/SFX: Kevin Dunlop
  • Make-up: Jenn Vanassche
  • Make-out: Sukin Ondaface
  • Phones provided by Tesiticular Cancer
  •  
  • Music Mix by Denis Logan
  •  
  • "Mars" and "Uranus" from Gustav Holst, recorded by the USA Air Force (public domain)
  •  
  • "Love Song"
  • by Kevin Dunlop (hold music)
  •  
  • "Love song for an ugly girl"
  • by The Spatulas
  •  
  • Special Thanks:
    Nique, for the great fun with writing
    Tom, for the work and gear
    Fuck, for the diverse usage of
    Ryerson, for the gear (shhh)
    The Stepecs, for the abode
    Jordan, for rocking the dress
    Holy crap, a talking Orange!
    Bill, for the burgers
    Jenn, for doing the dishes bitch
    Amanda, for not killing me again
    Kirill, for the expletive deleted
    Kevin, for fixing my crappy sound
    Orange Crush, for being similar in structure
    Indietalk.com, for the whole thing

 

bloody hell

 

Nominated 1st Runner up film and Best Score in the Indietalk Online Original Film Competition #4.

 

 

    Synopsis

Derek has killed; there's something wrong with Derek. We jump into his combobbled head as he experiences a series of flashbacks, and his deluded journey to the deep murky expanses of a lifeless hell filled with misery and confusion and run on sentences.


 

Production Synopsis

By: Denis Logan

Bloody Hell was made for the 4th Indietalk Online Original Film Competition, and received much audience acclaim. The most common opinion was that a lot of story was crammed into five minutes without feeling hurried or dragging on. As far as pre-production went, I wrote 5 completely different and unique scripts, 4 of which were utter garbage, and settled for a simple story about a psycho and his dead girlfriend.

The first night of production Kevin, Amanda and Denis filmed all the apartment scenes for the flashbacks of Derek and Wendy. Olga arrived to assist, and when the scenes were wrapped Kevin left for the night and Denis, Amanda, and Olga traveled to meet Paul Wishart for his rooftop scene where he is murdered.

The next morning, despite some minor setbacks (Denis sleeping through the alarm), Kirill, Dan, and Vanessa joined the crew, and we began using the small laundry room for our scenes. The bar scene was actually filmed in a corner of a sewing room, for lack of time to get an actual bar. All the red scenes were shot in close angles, so you can't really tell what kind of room their in, except for the idea that there it is barren and industrial.

The last sequence required a bucket of fake blood to be dumped all over Denis. The solution he had concocted was the ever popular Corn Syrup and Food Coloring recipe. That being said, wrapping very shortly after the blood sequences were filmed, the cast and crew all went off to their own Thanksgiving festivities.

Over the next few weeks Denis edited the footage and sent it to Kirill and Kevin for the score and sound respectively. When the final mix came from Kirill (the night before the deadline), the film went live to the internet, and here it sits for your downloading pleasure- we hope you enjoy, because it was fun making it.

 

 
    Trivia

Bloody Hell was shot on two different cameras- a Sony TRV-25 (the camera Macbeth 3000 was shot on), and a Panasonic DVX100a (a fantastic camera). The DVX was too large for our steady-cam's mount, so most of the DVX footage was shot with the camera jerry-rigged with masking tape to a loose steady-cam.

Paul Wishart is now a successful Canadian television and music video producer, and is expanding his film career at an exponential rate.

The role of the detective was a last minute addition- originally Sean Jordan (from Orange Crush) was cast in the role of a nerd who comes to do his laundry and walks in on the murder, but he had to cancel at the last minute. Emergency re-scheduling fell to another actor, James Rice, but he too had an emergency at the last minute. Pulling the trump card from the sleeve, Dennis called Dan (an actor/comedian he had worked with) and re-wrote the ending with a random detective showing up too late to catch him. It was part of a homage to a secret script Dennis is currently writing, where the same detective will show up at the end only to "miss it again". This will probably never materialize though.

Amanda's make-up included liquid latex, which smelt a lot like dirty snatch.

  •  
        Cast
  •  
  • Derek... Denis Logan 
  • Wendy... Amanda Duncan
  • Boyfriend (Steve)... Paul Wishart
  • Detective... Daniel Peters
  •  
        Crew
  •  
  • Director... Denis Logan
  • Writer... Denis Logan
  • Producer... Denis Logan
  •  
  • Director of Photography... Kirill Kripak
  • 1st Ass. Director... Kirill Kripak
  • Funny Name... Joe Guy
  • Additional Cinematography... Denis Logan
  • Camera Operators... Kirill Kripak, Denis Logan, Paul Wishart, Olga Peterson
  • Human Tripod... Vanessa Wishart
  •  
  • Location Manager... Paul Wishart
  • Bloody Bucket Dropper... Paul Wishart
  • Wardrobe/Make-up... Vanessa Wishart
  •  
  • Editor... Denis Logan
  • Sound Recording... Kevin Dunlop
  • Sound Editing... Kevin Dunlop
  • Additional Dialogue/Foley... Kevin Dunlop
  •  
  • Original Music... Kirill Kripak, Kevin Dunlop
  •  
  • "Bloody Hell Score"... Kirill Kripak
  • "DDT" (club song)... Kevin Dunlop
  •  
  • Production Assistants... Paul Wishart, Dan Peters, Olga Peterson, Vanessa Wishart
  • Special thanks... The cast and crew for taking Thanksgiving to film (thanks), the Indietalk judges for the awards and recognition (thanks), and of course... you... the audience...

 

Orange Crush

 

Hear Sean Jordan's original music by clicking here.

For more of Kirill Kripak's tunes, depress the mouse here.

    Synopsis

Jim and Amber were a happy couple, until their relationship went flat. Amber is accosted by a lunatic in a poncho, while Jim learns the intricacies of HAM radio, but ultimately it is their choice of soda that brings them together as it was meant to be.

Orange Crush was made for the Toronto 48 Hour Film Challenge, you can read the production synopsis below to see how short and long 48 hours can be.

See the Production Photos

    Production Synopsis

By: Denis Logan

Orange Crush was crafted from scratch in 48 hours on the hottest weekend in June for the Toronto 48 Hour Film Challenge. It is the universal story of a guy (Jim) and girl (Amber) breaking up and going on personal quests to discover what it was that didn't work so they can get together again. The production team sweated and moaned in Denis and Amanda's downtown flat for 48 hours straight to bring you this "analysis of a relationship". It has an original score created by Kirill under his musical alias "llilrik".

 The story was crafted by Sean, Bill, Denis, Amanda, and Kevin. During the crafting process, Kirill, Geoff, Matt and Jenn went out grabbing shots for the intro based on part of the TFC48 package. They based their shots on the color "Burnt Orange". Sean and Bill proceeded to work out the details of their own monologues while Denis made sure all the details came together. Upon the return of the other members, Geoff began work on a title sequence while the final draft was completed.

 The shooting took place over the next day and night. While shooting a scene in a local park, we could not find a plug for our lighting kit, and the natural light was non-existent. Using the tools he had assembled for just such an emergency, Denis attached a series of adaptors to a local frat house exterior light bulb and stole the power needed for the scene. A few hours later, Geoff and Denis were sneaking into a local apartment and clamoring to the roof for a sunrise horizon shot. They had to bend a metal plate and stick the camera a tripod out of the window to get the shot, which became the template for the end credits... signifying the new dawn in Jim and Amber's relationship.

 The next glitch occurred while filming in Denis' apartment. While improvising a scene, the building's fire alarm went off, sending a shriek through the ears of the filmmakers. Quickly packing up their equipment, the team retreated to the safety of the apartment as the fire trucks poured in. Not wanting to loose precious time, Geoff, Amanda and Denis left for a local park to shoot some daytime scenes while the rest of the team watched the base camp.

The next night, we were kicked out of three locations before settling behind a local frat house with the permission of the drunken inhabitants, to film the final scenes. Our strategy of shooting a few scenes, editing them together and then going back out to shoot had proved effective, as after the final scenes were shot there was little to edit, and Kirill had plenty of time to work on the score. All in all, we handed in about 15 minutes before deadline (not wanting to spoil the thrill of the chase with a boring, early submission) and then all adjourned to our own lives again. Feeling proud, energized by Bill's Bawls, coming together as a team and completing a 10 minute short in only 48 hours, we had accomplished our mission, and collapsed of exhaustion. 

 

    Trivia

     

Geoff did not shower once in all the 48 hours, and hardly slept. He also developed a particularly nasty flatulence near the end of it.

Bill made excellent sandwiches for lunch during the first day shoot which everyone enjoyed. Geoff, however, laughed and it came out of his nose.

This was Kirill's first attempt scoring an entire film from start to finish. Originally, we were going to use a selection of his tunes, but half-way through filming we found ourselves well ahead of schedule and Kirill decided to retrieve his keyboard, guitar and laptop and give scoring a shot.

The hit Wordburglar song "Hermaphromic" is featured in one of the bar scenes, courtesy of Sean Jordan.

Matt Snowball did not receive any concussions on this project, nor cheese sandwiches, but did spend almost an hour with Kirill searching for a can of grape pop for the ending because they were sold out everywhere.

Denis was approached by a strange raccoon and whisked off to a foreign land where  raccoon enslave men, but he escaped and returned to our dimension, all whilst visiting the lavatory.

Amanda really kicks sand in Dennis' face.

 

Production Photos


Sean and Kirill collaborate on the musical score with only hours left until deadline.


In the foreground Kirill and Sean work on the music, in the background Kevin is giving Geoff a disc with the mixed audio to place in the timeline.


Other angle, everyone hard at work. Amanda is on the phone with some big-wigs.


The team at the Bloor cinema, minus Bill and Jenn. This is right after the screening.

Who the hell is this guy???
Geoff later commented "...(he) had a gun to my back and he was forcing me to smile. I turned around and it was only a banana. Or so I thought..."  (we don't know who he is)


After the Gala, we adjourned to a bar for some Karaoke fun. Denis stole a pepper shaker.


Denis doing a drunk karaoke version of Led Zepplin's "D'yer M'aker"


Kirill pretending he's a super model. Watch out for that wind!

     
    Cast
  •  
  • Jim... Denis Logan 
  • Amber... Amanda Duncan
  • Remington... Bill Stepec
  • Balthazar... Sean Jordan
  • Bartender... Kevin Dunlop
  • Bar Patron... Kirill Kripak
  • Guy who walks by with hand on chin... Matthew Snowball

 

 

    Crew
  •  
  • Director... Denis Logan
  • Writers... Bill Stepec, Sean Jordan, Denis Logan, Amanda Duncan, Kevin Dunlop
  • Producers... Denis Logan, Amanda Duncan

 

  • Directors of Photography... Geoff W. Meech, Kirill Kripak
  • 1st Ass. Directors... Kirill Kripak, Geoff W. Meech
  • 2nd Ass. Director... Sean Jordan
  • In the name of... Balthazar
  • Lighting and Grip... Matthew Snowball
  • Camera Operators... Geoff W. Meech, Kirill Kripak, Matthew Snowball

 

  • Favorite Color... Orange-Blue
  • Location Manager... Denis Logan
  • Boom Mic courtesy of... Harmeet Bindra
  • Catering by... Bill Stepec

 

  • Editor... Geoff W. Meech
  • Sound Recording... Kevin Dunlop
  • Sound Editing... Kevin Dunlop
  • Additional Dialogue/Foley... Kevin Dunlop
  •  
  • Original Music... Kirill Kripak
  • "Orange Crush Theme"... Kirill Kripak
  • "Yes I Have"... Sean Jordan, Kirill Kripak
  • "Hermaphromic" (bar song)... The Wordburglar (Sean Jordan)

 

  • "Untitled" painting courtesy of... Olga Peterson
  • Production Assistants... Olga Peterson
  • Special thanks... TFC 48, Seekers Books, The Shakespeare Cafe, The Tranzac Club, the frat house we borrowed power from, the residence we "borrowed" power from, the Bloor Cinema, JD's Grill House, the TTC Police, the mean landlord, the fire department, the tenants of our building, the team who worked on the film, Bill's Bawls, coffee, Scott Spears' Low-Budget-Lighting-Tips, Harmeet Bindra, Olga Peterson, oscillating fans, deodorant and the person who invented fog machines.

Thanks for watching. Appreciate it.

The Perfect Sandwich

 

 

 

 
    Synopsis

When Guy and Girl comes home from the zoo, they find a mysterious chef in their apartment with promises of a sandwich so powerful, so cheesy, and so perfect that it will allow him to fornicate with any woman in question.
A short wacky film from Denis Logan's Cinema Spatula, this flagship first film was filmed in one day with a cast/crew of three people for the Indietalk Online Original Film Competition #3. Denis Logan wrote the script, and sent it to Bill Stepec for editing and revisal. Upon it's return, now glorified with a joke about elements, Matthew Snowball came over with his camera to shoot.

Of course he forgot his battery, so we re-scheduled for the next week. When filming did commence, based loosely on the storyboards Denis Logan crafted in MS Paint, it went smooth and easy.


 

    Production Synopsis
 

By: Denis Logan

The movie itself cost only as much as the ingredients, making it possibly the only film in history to have it's only expense as "Catering". Since we were working with no budget, and under compressed time, we had no equipment but the camera, and a cheap $9.99 USB "SPACE CONVERTER" (which had even worse Japanese-English translation on the instructions).

With not even a tripod, and only as many actors as crew, the camera work panned out between Matt and Denis, with Amanda coming in on a few shots behind the lenses as well. The competition allowed 6 weeks to write, shoot, edit, and upload your entry, so there was no worry about time. The filming went quick, we were well fed, and then Denis and Matt captured the footage (which involved a very pulse-racing incident about drivers and crappy USB devices).

It was my first time editing, and I spent many days sitting at his computer, learning the basics of Adobe Premiere. Figuring out how to cut, how to raise sound, place effects was a grueling experience, but in the end, many cigarettes and Twinkies later, Denis finished the rough cut. I had dubbed all the lines with my own voice, because we didn't have a quality microphone to film with, nor did we have good camera audio. The best route, it seemed, would be to comically dub all the voice himself, a decision himself made before filming.

All in all, the Perfect Sandwich was really crafted as a test by myself to see if I could pull off a short film without money or resources. Hopefully this will lead to many more. I was not, however,
able to remain in a consistent perspective while writing this synopsis though, as Denis has been drinking.

 

 
Acclaim
    Indietalk.com Members:
"Wow. WTF! I have no words to describe what I just saw." - John@Bophe

"Your girlfriend has a sexy voice!" - Flaviu

"Pure unadulterated silliness!!!" - Poke

"This movie has so many great catch-phrases." -Zensteve

 

    Cast

     

  • Chef... Denis Logan 
  • Girl... Amanda Duncan
  • Guy... Matthew Snowball
  • Bat-Mann... Dennis Logan
  •  
    Crew

     

  • Director... Denis Logan
  • Writer... Denis Logan
  • Producer... Denis Logan
  •  
  • Director of Photography... Denis Logan, Luck
  • Voices Dubbed by... Denis Logan
  • Secret Ingredient... Pinch of Sugar
  • Camera Operators... Matthew Snowball, Denis Logan, Amanda Duncan
  • Edited by... Denis Logan
  • Sandwiches by... Denis Logan, Amanda Duncan, David Hasselhof 

 


You can do it too!
 

If you're an independent filmmaker looking for a good small project, why not go over to Indietalk and sign up? You can participate in the next Online Film Competition, and show your film through the next big cinema- the internet! Boo yeah, Charles!